Day -2: May 5 early
Life is full of rituals.
Hello, my name is....
How do you do?
Excuse me, but....
Everyone's life has them, and some (not that I'll mention names) have more than others: ritual is what psychiatrists call what obsessive-compulsive personalities have to do to survive.
Day -1: May 6 late
I've been depending on my daily routine/ritual to get through the last 70-plus days: it's kept me relatively clean and fed, although the home, until the last week or so, um, definitely wasn't the former.
But I'm wasn't sure it was making much of a difference emotionally until the last two weeks, which I've spent my weekdays in a very organized fashion, knitting five solid hours a day, repeating a very simple pattern, and having that structure imposed on my day.
Day 5: May 13 mid-afternoon
Truth be told, I've appreciated it, as well as sitting in a light-filled glass box, with minimal decoration and interruption, and, perhaps most importantly it has helped me focus my thoughts for when I'm outside the box, literally.
Day 6: May 16 late lunch
The only downside has been the earworms I've found myself being sucked into, and some of them have been just incessant. (Trust me, until you've had Olivia Newton-John's Please Mister Please running through your brain for hours on end, you don't know what torture is.)
Day 10: May 20 late
But the project down at EPCOR Centre has gone well, with the knitting finished dead on schedule, the photographs framed and delivered to Fish Creek Environmental Learning Centre, and the arrival of the invitation for The Forest Show arriving at The Leighton Centre, where it opens on June 4.
I've got some ideas for new work that I want to do and send off to calls in autumn, a list of residencies to apply for, and, finally, a lack of constant hysteria in my brain.
Life still ain't great, but it doesn't feel like it's permanently oppressive either.
Sunday, 22 May 2011
Monday, 9 May 2011
My friends and family, and those of you in my electronic community, usually ask me how I'm doing, and when I start spurting tears, chalk it up to "she's not doing that great."
Um, well, that's not exactly accurate: frankly, I do pretty well most of the time. But when I'm asked, my response depends on how well I know you.
I lose it with family. Mine. His. Doesn't matter. Totally utterly unredemptively hysterical. Even when I'm alone. Maybe especially. No apologies.
I'm sure his family think I fall apart at the drop of a feather because I did it with them on an excessively recurring basis when I was in Ontario.
But I'm a lot better than I was. Yesterday, I drove our truck to the nearest gas station, put $10 of gas in at the self-serve pump, and then drove our regular grocery run, where they also have full-serve pumps.
Hi, I said to the nice young man, could you please fill this lovely old truck with regular? She's pretty thirsty.
And $120 and a full tank later, I parked, did the usual grocery shop, reset the time and preset radio channels, and drove home with Michael Enright blasting out the speakers.
OK, you're probably thinking, so what?
I had never ever put gas into this truck, and until two weeks ago, I was painfully frightened of ever getting behind the wheel again.
This was a major, and important, step to regain my sanity (well, such as it is) and my independence.
Don't let the public tears fool you.
So it wouldn't be a blog post without a few pictures, would it?
1. The cozy I knit for my new PC/Ubuntu netbook: it saved my unpadded backside in Ontario.
2. Scouting locations for new knitted installations showing up at my Fish Creek Provincial Park photography show that opens, assuming I get if framed up, May 14.
3. The Mill Pond in Dorchester, Ontario. It's a very nice place, with lots of wildlife.
I started my first solo performative installation/show today, down at the EPCOR Centre for Performing Arts. All things being equal, I'm around from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. on weekdays (except for Victoria Day), through May 29. If you're downtown, and not a psycho nutter (y'all know who you are, and I will call Security), come and say "hi."
Posted by Linda at 20:53